Blue Daisy

Weather

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 01:54:25 GMT

I have decided that there is absolutely nothing better than walking home in the pouring rain barefoot. In that moment i had peace and happiness. people might have seen some crazy hillbilly girl. but i don't care. because it's time to let go. let go of inhibitions and inferiority. and just GO. you will be happy. and as a wise person once said,"we really do have to pursue happiness. that's what we spend our lives doing. we chase those tiny happy moments. and when we can't find them, we just keep going. we all live to jump up and down in complete estaticness."

"Yesterday, is history. Tomorrow, is a mystery. We have today, and today will be great. That is why it's a present."

"it's not having what you want, but wanting what you got."

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 23:04:12 GMT

I do suppose i should post what happened. But sorry dears,I don't feel like going into details.

Chris, and I are officially broken up. And guess what? It sucks. It's different, and weird. And I don't like it. No more flirty text messages that just say "i love you". no more hand-holding in the hall. No more really good hugs. No more kisses before classes. it's done and over. I have to find a box to put everything that reminds me of him in. all the Christmas gifts, valentine's and birthday presents. and just everything. I have cried all yesterday and the day before. i'm dried out. i can cry no more. i really do think i loved him. maybe i still do. but i kinda feel..........free. i don't know. i'm going to make the most of this and sort everything out. and laugh and laugh. not remember but not forget. love him, but not like it was. it's sooooooooooo super weird. *sigh* it's over dears. he's gone.

The Pirates Of Penzance!

Mon, 05 May 2008 01:55:45 GMT

you know when you want to write something and you can only think of one thing to write about? and that's the thing that no one wants to hear anymore about? the thing that you should have solved in your mind, but there's more to it? well that feeling sucks my friends it entirely sucks.

redamaks is amazing. went there last nite for dinner. forgot why i became a vegetarian lol. today went and saw David's play. Pirates of Penzance. it was also equally as amazing. friday night went to jillians with caitlin. an affair that's becoming regular lol. we watched Juno. yay for Juno! love that movie. yeah that's about it. for now. i'll think of someting down the line. love yous.

"Ima put you to bed"

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 21:23:41 GMT

I am incredibly happy right now. Despite all other things. I'm HAPPY. hahahaha. It's great. And you wanna know something? I love him.

ding we have a teenager

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 03:17:49 GMT

People change, things happen, life goes on.

It's as simple as that, isn't it? No, I don't think it is. Because, even if life goes on, you might not be able to go with it. The whole world around you might be turning, but your feet are planted in one spot. You aren't going to move, you're rubber cemented to the floor. And besides the hideous smell that might be stinking at your feet, it hurts. I don't know how to explain it. As if I ever can. I don't want people to leave me, i don't want to move on. I don't want to grow up. It scares me. I don't want to have to even TRY to imagine my life without certain people in it. This time I can't fix it. I can always fix it. I can always find a way to make it better. This time, I have to give in to the rubber cement. You can't fight time.

"I guess time is chasing after us all isn't it? That's the real meaning of the ticking crocodile. Am I right?" - Finding Neverland

sigh

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 02:35:11 GMT

well, it happened again. my tooth chipped for the miliionth time. i hate it. dentist can't get me in till monday morning. damn tootsie rolls.

incase you didn't know

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 02:45:00 GMT

I have just one thing to say. Enchanted was completely and totally one hundred percent AMAZING!!!!!! omg that movie is wonderful.

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 16:40:23 GMT

So I haven't thought of anything to write. But I did write something that I thought I'd put on here.

So here it goes........

Hearts, are funny things. We draw pictures of them, and they most definately don't look like our actual hearts. So maybe we have two hearts. One that pumps our blood,beats in our chest, and keeps us alive. And the other one, that's filled with love. But both hearts can break. One heart falls to pieces, it's shattered by loss, love, and grief. The other one can't work anymore, it can't keep us alive. So it stops working. It "attacks". Both hearts can come back to life. One can learn to love again. And the other is zapped with a machine, and starts beating again. One heart may take longer than the other. It can take forever. The other. Only a second. Hearts overwhelm you, make you feel passion and love, they break, and heal. And sometimes, they're the only thing that's keeping you alive.

Rambling Part 2

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 01:29:59 GMT

Well let's see here. I really don't know. I can't think of anything to write. Got all my Christmas shopping done. Which makes me happy. Semester's over tomorrow, which makes me even happier. Life's seems pretty good right, you know there's the minor drama, but there is always drama. That is one thing that will never change. Waiting for Christmas. We still need to make sugar cookies. hmmmm......I don't know. When I think of something I'll let you know. Hahaha.

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 14:49:36 GMT

Update is needed i suppose. You know what? I don't have anything to say. I feel pretty amazing right now. And that's all i got to say about that.

Insert catchy title

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 14:44:43 GMT

So last night was the first game the band played at. Very exciting, except the part where someone stole my hat,and i had to use one that didn't even fit, which was because it didn't have shoestring so Taylor had to go find me one. Then after the game someone jacked my clarinet. I was soooo pissed. So i went back out to the field and asked every single clarinet where they got their clarinet from, and I found out Morgan stole it. Thanks Morgan. hahaha. The half time show was freaking amazing which is unsusual, but whatever, Weimer told us we rocked which is even MORE unusual. We lost the game if you hadn't heard, that was to be expected. Contest tonite pretty pumped for that. So wish us luck, God knows we need it. haha.
Everything is peachy, well other than Jillian and her parents. I'm worried about her and school, and pretty mad at her dad. Fashion Design is going great, probably one of the only classes I enjoy, oddly enough, because there's like no one in there that I like. I made a pin cushion yesterday. haha, I had to rip out the stitches like twice, but it still looks like a heart, so I'm pleased with my efforts. I don't how I'm ever going to read or finish New Moon so it'lll be awhile I suppose. Thinking about going out for Speech team, I think I can do it. But if no one else does, then I won't. I don't want to do something I suck at. I need to go buy Heroes season one, and get my hair cut. lol. We'll I don't have anything important to say , so............peace.

Trying to Save the World ......again.

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 18:43:11 GMT

I'm trying to save the world again.......trying to help out people that don't need it. Trying to fix other people's problems. That aren't my business. I know i haven't updated in like a month, but yea.....whatever. Someone care to help?

Get It While It's Hot. Or Not.

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 15:55:20 GMT

       As always I just read a amazingly good book. I read it in one day, as usual, and it kind of gave me a new perspective on, life. it's called, Get It While It's Hot. Or Not. It's about these four girls who in the eigth grade to be friends till the end. But forever is a long time. the start of their junior year, they find out how much they can handle when the "baby" of the group announces she's four months pregnant. The book starts with that girl seven months pregnant and bed ridden, she can't do anything for herself, her three best friends take shifts every day coming over to help her.
      The friends battle love, cutting class, and sex, as they desperately help their friend. Meg, the writer and reporter for the school newspaper, starts to do an article on Teen Sex, inspired by her friend. The school won't publish it, she absolutely has to get this acoss to her peers, but she's told that this isn't the real world, it's high school. Meanwhile the friends find out that the father of their friends baby is HIV-positive. Like it couldn't get anyworse, the mother has decided to give the baby up for adoption, she has already picked the parents. Do they tell the adoptive parents? Is the child even going to be adopted? Well, I'll let you read it.
     this book made me think about my friends, and how far we'd go for eachother. What would we do if one of us was in that situation? How would we react? Would we remain friends? I know I'd do what was in my power to help, I know I'd still be friends with them.
      This book also makes you realize change, at least it did for me. After everything they've been through no one will be themselves. Things will be different.  But you'll always be friends.
       Caitlin, Carrington, Jillian, Julia, Ashley, Jessica, Olivia, I love you all, some of you I've known forever, some only a few years, for some of us, our time was cut short. Just know wherever you are, wherever you go in life, even if we end up hating eachother, I will always love you. You all have had this major impact on my life that can't be taken away. Only two of you can read this, I do know this. But no matter, I said it anyways. I love you all.

Completely

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 17:01:09 GMT

Guess what? Band Camp starts tomorrow, and I don't even give a shit. Don't get me wrong, life is wonderful. I got my haircut yesterday,( I have bangs now), I watched the Wanatah fireworks display, which is ALWAYS a great show, and I'm becoming completey unreconisible. Which might be a good thing. Even though I really haven't changed that much, but some, I guess. i don't know, I won't get started on that right now. I really miss my friends, I wish I knew more about them than what I do right now. I really super miss Jillian. And, she's only in Sturgis which isn't that far away, it's about ten miles from where my dad works in Constantine. I never really realized how alike we are until she left. I'm exactly like her, except for I was born here and I know a little bit more about Amercia. And she knows a lot more about computers, lol. Don't mind me I'm rambling. I've noticed.
I want my sophmore year to be completely different from my freshman year. I want to be different, no, I just want to look different. ya know? I want to be completely and totally self-confident, and not worry about what I'll say or do next, and who will do what in response to my actions. I want to be completely care-free. I want to write my own legacy, not live out other people's, I don't want to live my life the way they say it'll happen. I'll write my own advice, live a little. I WILL COMPLETELY FORGET HIM AND EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED. I will no longer be the quiet "smart-dumb" blonde that sits in the back of the class and eveyone expects to know the answers. I don't want ANYONE to utter the phrase, :"You're really quiet" or " She's REALLY smart". Because I'm not, I'm living a lie. Everyone needs to see the REAL Paige. I don't know how I'll accomplish all of this in two months, I just will. i'll learn to breathe, to be myself. The last time i really tried to be myself, I met Jillian. So, what the hell, it can't be that bad. Ya know?

So...............I updated

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 18:38:27 GMT

i don't really know why I'm updating. There's nothing to really say. The 4th was cool. i was in a parade, I went to Shipshewana and saw Amish people. haha. I've been pretty bored, but I really shouldn't say that because Band Camp will start soon, and I definatly WILL NOT be bored. There's a bunch of movies I want to see, I'll have to recruit my movie crew. lol. I saw Rataouille or whatever. You'll have to check the spelling on that. It was an okay movie, definatly geared towards kids. I'm reading this really amazing book about the Phantom when he was a kid. Written by Susan Kay. The book is SO sad, if you have a soft spot for kids, I'm not even that far in to it. I just finished the first part that was written in hos mother's point of view. oops, sorry, here i am going on and on about..........................a book.lol. That's the only other exciting thing that happened besides on the 3rd I went to Caitlin's at like 7:00 because she was in deperate need of a girl's night. So, we had tons of funlike we always do. that's about it. Talk to you all later.

Peter Pan

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 21:58:21 GMT

    I was thinking about Peter Pan the other day. Don't ask me why. I just was. I started thinking about how he'll never grow up. Never grow old. Never die. It would suck, but it would be awesome.
    When you think about a little kid, you probably think naive, innocent, amusing, creative, and cute. Peter Pan is a little kid. Wouldn't be awesome to think that a thimble is a kiss, and a kiss, was a thimble? Of course we know the opposite. I think it's sort of sweet. Peter Pan is the symbol of youth. He never wants to grow up. He gets to stay in Neverland, where no one dies. I would like to spend some time there. When everything is spinning out of control, and everything is going 500mph, just go there, and sit, and think. That would be nice.
     If you never died, you'd get to do whatever you wanted to do in your life. But you'd see everyone die around you. Which would suck. Peter Pan is my hero. Probably my equivalent. I still live in my innocent little world, only seeing the world I knew. I'm still naive. I'm still such a little kid. More than the world will ever know. I'll never grow up, and if I do, well, I'll still try to find Neverland. And Peter Pan.

Where Is The Love???

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 20:02:07 GMT

                What ever happened to the hippies? Even though they were on drugs, where did they go? What ever happened to what Martin Luther King Jr. did? What ever happened to the peace marches and Ghandi? Not literally, because some of those people died. But the work they did didn't have to die.
                I just heard on the news a 911 tape sent in by a mother, whose pregnant 27 year old daughter, was gone. Her car was there, her 2 year old son was there (at the house) alone , her purse and all it's contents were there. And it somewhat gets worse even though it may not shock you, the woman was due anyday now. Now, doesn't this story sound familiar to another story? A story about a pregnant woman gone missing Christmas Eve? A woman found (dead) in a lake with her unborn child. And in the end of more than 50 trials, 1,000 magazines, and at least 100 television interviews, the HUSBAND was guilty. Of course it does. The case of the year. Or five years for that matter. Lacey Peterson, Scott Peterson, his girlfriend whose name escapes me, and their unborn baby boy. I do not know the name of this new missing woman, I don't know where she lives( or lived), for all I know she could be located here in Elkhart, Indiana. But, I know FOR SURE know that I DO NOT want this woman to be the next Lacey Peterson case. Absolutey not.
               People have gotten utterly stupid . Do you know that Geico comercial? The one that reads "so easy a caveman can do it"? Well, if you look at this comercial at another angle other than cheap car insurance and funny. It makes a statement about America. It says that their insurance plan HAS to be easy to follow, because that is all we can understand. We know that cavemen did not have the technology we have today, so they would have to be stupid. No matter advancements they made in their day. So, not only are we making fun of cavemen, but ourselves.
                What I'm trying to say is this world has become so corrupt and has been idolized around popstars and actors, we forgot.............the world. Maybe I'm wording this wrong, maybe we secretly all realize this, but cover it up with movies and music. But no matter how many movies I watch, no matter how cds I listen to, the reality of this corrupt world, seems to sink back in. I just can't seem to block it out, no matter how hard I try. I can't.
                I don't like what this world is becoming, I don't like what I'm being left by the parents and adults of our day. I don't like how much hate someone would have for someone else to just kill them. I don't like the lies. I hate that people have to think the only way out is to get high, to smoke, to drink, or cut themselves. I hate how disturbed and selfish people are. I wish people would come to their senses and...........................be nice.
                All this hate has got me thinking, "Where Is The Love?"
                                                               And that's all I got to say about that.
                                                                                                            For now.

Random Rant

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 21:14:21 GMT

       Well.......... driver's ed........ kinda sucks. And my instructor wear purple shorts! EW! Gym will eventually kill me. I'm so sore it's not even funny. I can't even lift my arms. ow.
      Ever have those days where you just need a hug? Where you just want that one special person to know that you LOVE them....... and you always have. Believe me, if it was up to me, if I could control it, I wouldn't love him anymore. But three years of my life would be wasted. But that doesn't mean I haven't wasted any of my years. I want to do something....... I think.
      You know what else? I'm really tired of people telling me how to act. So what if I act like a "freshman" at times. Everyone HAS to, your entire life can't be all seriousness. That would be boring. As a matter of fact I have hurt, a lot. But I put it behind me, moved on, started living. I'm just so sick of getting, "Grow up. Get your shit together. Fast. This is the real world. " and, "Stop acting like a freshman." So sue me. I'm a tad childish. everyone is, even if they don't realize it. Everyone has to act like a loser SOMEtimes. Ya know? It's just-- frustrating.
      I love all the support I have from my friends, family, and that's it. I love how much they love me( or so they say. lol. Just kidding.) I love them, a lot. More than they'll ever know. Everything I 've been through, they've been there right beside me. They always took my side. And even if they didn't, well, the truth sucks doesn't it? God Only Knows What I'd Be Without You. I won't close you out or let you go.   You changed my life. Truly.
     Save the world. With love. Bring peace. Share a smile. Dance in the rain. Close your eyes, and sing.......... in the shower. Have fun. Know that I love you. Even if I don't know who you are, I love you.

A Day

Mon, 21 May 2007 20:56:32 GMT

Yesterday was my birthday!!! I'm officially fifteen. I don't feel any older, but i never do anyway. HaHa. I had an AMAZZING birthday too. My friends came over, and we shopped till we ...................... couldn't shop anymore!!!! Cuz they had to close the store. TeeHee. I'm really sad for the last day of school. That's kinda lame, but there are some people i'm gonna miss. A LOT. Then afterwards schools out i have to start summer gym. And Driver's Ed. So,...............ew. Then band camp, but we won't talk about that. lol. The absolute highlight of my day was when I got a 20 on sketchbook assignments in Hartman's!!!!! Yay!!! He NEVER gives out 20's NEVER. So i felt special. Espesially being in Intro. lol. I took the Algebra Core 40 today. it was kinda hard. it was easier than the final is going to be. so yea. listen wheezysgal, I need my cd's back! u have like five of them! Then i need help! HaHa. I need. I need. I need. Isn't that lovely, no it's not. People need like food, and water, and clothes. People need like homes. People need to get off weed, and pay attention. What if we have like another holocaust? it could happen. i guess. Lol. My quest to save the world. well, all i have to say is,"At least I have a quest".

Lalalalalala

Fri, 11 May 2007 20:44:06 GMT

Heyness to everyone......or anyone. lol. Life rocks. I'm turning fifteen in nine days, I got an iPod, and I'm happy. I have to go to an Elkhart Express Game tonight, it'll be fun. Sometimes Myspace depresses me. And I'm not saying that I don't like it, cuz I do, but, some people act so fake. They're like, "he's my baby, and I love him forever." Maybe that's how it feels, I wouldn't know, supposedly, I've never been in love. But I won't get into that. lol. That's over. =[) Life rocks, besides the minor miscommunications with friends and family, but other than that, it rocks. Did I already say that? oh well. Then I guess it really does. TeeHee. Nothing else. Keep the peace. Love forever. it's not overrated.

blahhhhhhhhh....................

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 20:33:58 GMT

So today was okay. Bad news, one of my best friends is moving to Sturgis, Michigan. And I am really going to miss her. Of course I am, she is one of my BEST FRIENDS. omg. I don't even know. Life doesn't suck, AT ALL. This is the strangest feeling. I wish I was closer to some people, I wish I really knew who they are. And some people should just go away. They are annoying and ignorant, and I am fed up with them. And some people just plain rock. They are my rock, my life, and my muse. Guys are idiots, and right now I don't care about them or a relationship with a significant other. Life, huh, that's funny, life. Such a short word, but it means so much. It would be a lot just to take it away. lol. I'm becoming a vegetarian. For the sake of the animals. Just to take animals life....away, and then EAT them. That's harsh. Way harsh, imagine if somebody did that to US. killed us, then ate us, and thought nothing of it. That's deep, waay deep, I didn't know I was that deep. lol. That's funny, supposedly I calm people down when I'm around. My super power would be to relieve tension. Like the power to break up fights. Maybe I really am the peace maker. It's funny how a situation can change everything about you. It's pretty stinking amazing. I think I like it.

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 15:42:22 GMT

                           This morning almost sucked. Well.. (who am I kidding?) it DID suck. The Symphonic Band went to contest this morning and we got a silver rating, and one judge gave us a bronze, and if you don't know, a bronze is a step up from a participation ribbon. Well, everyone can blame the clarinets all they want, I do not care, because it's done. D-O-N-E.
                           Grrrrrrr....... but whatever, better news I'm getting contacts, actually I have a pair in right now. I'm SOOOO glad, because I'm not allergic to the solution and I can get them in and out. So yay!
                            4/20 was as bad as 9/11. Crazy people...... crazy crazy crazy crazy people. The Johnson Space center got shot up. A gunman went in there and fired shots.The man who shot up Virginia Tech says the two guys who did the Columbine shooting were martyrs. buuuuuullllllllshit. They went up and asked people if they believed in God, if the person said yes, they died. If you asked me, the people who died were martyrs. They died for they faith. The last thing they ever said was, "yes." And they got a bullet to the heart. Nobody should have a reason to shoot a person. It's just plain wrong. But, that's just me. I couldn't shoot someone because 1: I HATE BLOOD. THE END 2: I don't have a reason, and I don't like to see people in pain. It rips my heart out of my ears. I just wish, somehow, we could have World Peace. And, do not accuse me of being Miss America, because, I'm not. I hate this war, this tension, this time we have to go through, just practically everthing. It's hard to believe that there is love left for eachother in this world. Hopefullly, Love Actually, will be all around. I guess we just have to look for it.

{Still Happy!}

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 21:45:22 GMT

Hello everybody! Nothing really happened today, I went shoping with my mom. I got a very cool pair of Converse sneakers, and a appointment to get my eyes checked so I can wear contacts. Which I am very excited about, because I am begining to hate my glasses. Last night I went to see Prominition with my friend, but instead, we had to see Blades of Glory. Because, Prominition wasn't even plaing untiil 11:55 when online it said 7:25. So............. an alternate was needed. Blades off Glory wasn't That bad. It was KIND OF stupid, but not as bad as Napolean Dynamite. This one actually had a plot, but it was still kind of stupid. I kind of like it. Then we went back to my house and watched Sixteen Candles, one of the best movies EVER. Total 80sness. It pretty much rocks. lol. I love it. That was pretty much it. Oh, and I went into one of the coolest stores ever called White/Black. I found a dress I wanted for $140.00. haha. yea, like THAT"S gonna happen. lol. But it was STILL pretty. So, that was MY day.

Happiness

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 21:08:23 GMT

I don't ever remembering being this happy, EVER. I LOVE IT. Letting something go, that needed to be gone, is the most amazing feeling you will ever feel. Well.................almost. Right now, to me, it's the most amazing thing ever. I could jump up and down, and up and down. AND SCREAM. But in a GOOD way. I guess like squeeing. lol. I love this feeling, nothing hurts, nothing is tying me down. It's like being strapped to a bed, because you're insane, and, then, you figure out WHY you're insane, and, you get let out of the bed, because you're not insane anymore. You can feel your arms and your legs.You can run, you can walk, you can swing your arms, and you're free. IT"S AMAZING. Words, can not describe how this feels. Did I say that I LOVED IT? Because I do.

Rambling

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 21:36:50 GMT

Today went by really fast. I do not know why. i'm kind of lonely. but not really, i always feel like this. the world makes me sad. everybody is all caught up in reality tv, Anna Nicole Smith, magazines, sex,and themselves. What has this world come to? Re-done songs/movies, what is up with that? People can't think of things themselves? Has the imagination been crushed out of us already? DO WE NEED FOR IMAGINATION?????? It makes me sooo mad. But, i don't want to be mad. I want to forget him. Forget everything about him. But if you can't forget somebody, are they supposed to be there? I don't want to hurt anymore. I really need to erase him from my memory. But, will things be the same? Will I be the same? It's all really confusing. I need a therapist. And THAT is REALLY sad.